"Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game." - Michael Jordan
I recently returned from a Hang-Gliding competition in Florida. Having spent years competing in Martial Arts, helping students compete, and then seeing similar patterns in another sport, I had some insights to share. Competition for some, is viewed with negativity, it brings out the worst in their personality, or in those they're competing against.
Some find the prospect of putting themselves in front of an audience, too great of a risk; far outside of their comfort zone. Others view competition as a positive outlet for their desire to prove themselves, the thrill of pitting themselves against others, or the enjoyment of trying to do their best. Some love competition, some abhor it, while others are just competitive by nature.
There are very healthy reasons to compete, in many ways it is the purest expression of life, but it is crucial to keep our motivations in perspective. Are we competing to have fun, to learn, to challenge ourselves, to overcome fear, or simply to win? Once we recognize the why, then we can determine how we should best go about a particular competition so that we can maximize our enjoyment of it. If ego, peer pressure, or high expectations are allowed to gain control, our enjoyment quickly falls into despair.
In some competitive sports such as martial arts or hang-gliding, letting competition RULE YOU, can lead to injury, and or death. It can cause you to take unnecessary risks, increase your stress level in an unhealthy manner from anger or self-defeat, or it may cause you to enter into a level of competition you are not quite ready for. Ultimately it does not suit your original motivation for being in the competition, to enjoy it, and you are quickly swayed from your path.
My original motivation for competing in martial arts, was to overcome personal fears of performing in front of others, or expressing myself before an audience. As an introvert, it is counter to my nature to show off, or 'perform'. I did not want to compete, yet a friend of mine convinced me to try it. I tried it, and I enjoyed the thrill of it, as well as winning. I continued to do more and more competitions over the coming years, and keeping a positive outlook even if I came in 2nd place, or no place.
As my competition schedule ramped up, I ran into more and more of the same individuals at each tournament. After winning 1st place at a number of tournaments, I started hearing odd things when I would arrive - "Oh, YOU'RE here. I knew I shouldn't have bothered to show up; now I'm definitely not going to win." I'd like to say this was only from one individual but sadly it was not, 2 or 3 as I recollect.
These individuals were so wrapped up in winning, that all of their enjoyment and their entire reason for being there, was hinged upon getting a trophy. This caused them to fail to even enjoy the process or experience of the event once faced with steep competition or the thought of losing. I'll leave you to guess how these individuals performed in the tournament. Although I will give you a hint: another article on the 'effects of negative thinking' could be written about it. Perhaps for these individuals, they missed not only the objective, but also when to not compete.
Just as we need to know how to have fun in competition, we need to know when it is time to step away from competition. If we no longer enjoy it, or only enjoy it when we win, then we've already lost before the competition has begun. Eventually I went on to compete on a National level, and after winning two golds and a silver at Nationals, I stopped competing. My reasons were simple, I had accomplished what I set out to do and it was time to take a break. I had put myself in unfamiliar, and uncomfortable arenas, overcome my fears, and gained personal growth. The same year that I won at Nationals, I had started my own martial arts school, and it was now time for me to focus on my students, and promote them to grow from their own experiences and support them in competition.
Knowing when to stop, is important for your spirit. If competition stops being fun, causes more stress than enjoyment, it is time to step away. Keeping perspective on ourselves to be aware of when this is happening, is the most difficult task. This is where we can use what the Buddhist's call 'mindfullness' - stepping outside of a situation to examine it from a distance. This often produces insights and perspective.
Years later, when I entered my first Hang-Gliding competition, the enjoyment, and the lessons were aplenty, just as they were in Martial Arts. I found myself contending with the same dueling emotions and thoughts as I did years before. I watched others go through transformations under the pressures of competition that caused the same old patterns to rear their heads. Tempers, self-defeat, self-doubt, depression, anxiety, all were present in mild or extreme forms. Minds running rampant.
When I competed in Martial Arts, I never payed much attention to what my fellow competitors were doing, or even how they scored as I waited to the side. I went into each competition with the intention of doing the best I could possibly do. If anything, I was in my own world, detached from my surroundings, and competing with myself.
"Compete with no one, and no one can compete with you." - Lao Tzu
This offered me an advantage some of my peers fell victim to; I was able to avoid the self-defeat. I focused my energies and thoughts, waited for my name to be called, did my thing, and then waited for the results. If it was a fighting match, I would do the same thing. Focus on relaxing and breathing, stay sharp, then enter the match and focus on defeating my opponent. I did the best I could and let the chips fall where they may.
If we stay focused on enjoying the experience, without getting distracted or wrapped up in our own emotions, competition can be a great way to express what we do for enjoyment while providing valuable learning experiences often not found in other aspects of our lives. It is when we allow ourselves to become victims of our own thoughts, fears, expectations, and behaviors, that we end up with little gained and much lost. - Sifu Randy Brown
Knowing when to stop, is important for your spirit. If competition stops being fun, causes more stress than enjoyment, it is time to step away. Keeping perspective on ourselves to be aware of when this is happening, is the most difficult task. This is where we can use what the Buddhist's call 'mindfullness' - stepping outside of a situation to examine it from a distance. This often produces insights and perspective.
When I competed in Martial Arts, I never payed much attention to what my fellow competitors were doing, or even how they scored as I waited to the side. I went into each competition with the intention of doing the best I could possibly do. If anything, I was in my own world, detached from my surroundings, and competing with myself.
